The Bet
by cellotlix
Summary: "Come on, Alenko. You bet me you could pilot the Mako without crashing or flipping it, and you lost." Shepard grinned. "Quite amply, I might add. You owe me a drink." Shepard and Kaidan go out for drinks on the Citadel. Hijinks and shenanigans ensue. Mid-ME1 oneshot.


**AN: So while chatting with amazing Mussimm and the wonderful Dandy in the Aspic on tumblr, we stumbled on this FABULOUS idea - drunk Kaidan. This is my attempt to realize this hilarious plot bunny. I had a lot of fun working on this, and I hope you all enjoy it as well! **

**Feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading everyone.  
**

Shepard tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and shifted from one foot to the other. From her vantage point across the Crew Deck, she watched Kaidan working feverishly over his console, his brow furrowed in deep concentration. But when he caught a glimpse of her he broke into a tentative smile, and the sight of it sent her heart racing.

She was nervous. Talking to Kaidan summoned those old memories of her disastrous attempts at public speaking – most notably the day she'd accepted the Star of Terra for her heroism in the Skyllian Blitz. She thought she'd defeated the nerves through measured repetition, but one look at him brought it all rushing back; the horrible thickness in her throat, the way her tongue felt too unwieldy to manage, the way her palms would sweat so badly that she had to keep them balled into tight fists.

She scowled. This was pathetic. She was Commander Shepard, not a teenager with a crush. Swallowing, she arranged her features into a friendly, teasing expression before striding over to him.

"Lieutenant," she said, affecting ease.

"Commander," was his prompt reply. He always went straight to business, perfectly upright at all times. "How can I help?"

"You didn't think I'd forget, did you?"

Now she knew he was playing dumb; his expression didn't change except for the slightest twitch of one eyebrow. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, the very picture of innocence.

"Uh huh. I seem to remember a certain Lieutenant making a very ill-advised bet with me. And you know, I also remember that he recently lost that bet."

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about," he managed.

"Come on, Alenko. You bet me you could pilot the Mako without crashing or flipping it, and you lost." She grinned. "Quite amply, I might add. You owe me a drink."

He sighed in defeat, though she saw an answering grin play at his lips. "Here I was hoping you'd forgotten all about that."

"Not on your life." She snickered. "And not after that performance. Honestly, I think I might have cracked my skull on your seat."

"There has to be something wrong with that thing," he said indignantly. "My marks in the Ground Vehicle Assessment were outstanding."

"Struck a nerve?" She grinned at him. "Come on. Own up to your spectacular defeat with grace."

"Well, I can't ignore a challenge to my pride, can I?"

"I would hope not. Come on, Alenko. I won't bite."

Oh, Christ. Had she honestly said that? She mastered the urge to slap her hand to her eyes in dismay, even though she wanted to curl up into a ball and die. But she was gratified to see that instead of being repulsed, he colored a bit and looked away.

"All right, Commander. Let me wrap up."

"For the rest of the evening it's just Shepard, all right?"

He didn't reply immediately, searching her face for the trap and smiling a little when he didn't find one. "All right."

Since they were off duty, they did not need to armor up for a trip to the Citadel. Shepard had been a soldier for so long that wandering around in civvies felt weird, but she couldn't deny that she appreciated the view of a certain Lieutenant in similar dress. God bless the people who had designed the casual uniform; it was perfectly suited to showing off every beautiful angle and line of him. She'd be lying if she said her gaze didn't wander as they walked.

Flux was particularly busy that night. The club was packed wall to wall with people dancing, and the music was like a primal heartbeat pulsing through the entire room, suffusing it with color and light and sound. It was thrilling to be in a place like this with Kaidan, who was close enough that she could almost feel the heat of him against her skin. She resisted the impulse to grab his hand.

Despite how busy the club was, however, they did not have to wait long for a place at the bar. They stood shoulder to shoulder, almost touching. "Think they have any lagers?" Kaidan called over the thudding beat.

"I'm sure they do," she replied. "But we're not going with the light stuff tonight."

"No?"

She grinned dangerously. "How about another bet?"

"I think you'll understand why I'm hesitant to take you on again."

"Don't be a coward. This is a friendly wager between two comrades, that's all."

"Well, when you put it like that how could I refuse? What's the bet?"

She paused for effect, leaning closer. "I bet you can't match me drink for drink."

"Please, Shepard," he scoffed. "Do I look like a tenderfoot to you?"

"You look like something."

She'd meant to flirt because watching him get flustered was quickly becoming one of her favorite pastimes; he chuckled nervously and rubbed his neck. "I think you might be overestimating your chances."

"Well, that's why it's a bet. It's not any fun if the outcome is certain, is it?"

"You've got a point there."

"So how about it? If you can't match me without getting smashed, you owe me a favor of my choosing and redeemable whenever I want."

"And what do I get if I win?" he asked her.

"What do you want?"

He considered, and for a moment she thought she saw a bit of color rise in his cheeks, hardly visible in the pulsing magenta lights. "How about first serving at the next meal?"

"Boo! That's so boring! Don't waste your hard-won victory on something that lame."

"Ouch," he said, though he grinned. "Fine. If I win, I get the favor; whatever I'd like, cashed in whenever I'd like."

"It's a bet." She held out her hand for a shake and he took it. It shouldn't have stunned her how thrilling the touch of his hand against hers was. Swallowing, she flagged down the bartender, a very cranky looking turian. "Can we get a couple of shots over here?"

"What kind of shots?" the bartender barked.

"The strongest you have."

The bartender didn't exactly narrow his eyes, but she thought his gaze had become particularly smug. "The strongest I have in the house would probably kill you, human."

"The strongest _levo _shots you have, smartass," she bit back, irritated.

The bartender grumbled inaudibly while he poured their drinks, though she thought she heard mutterings about rude humans with a few curses thrown in for good measure. To his credit, though, the bartender slid their drinks to them without spilling a drop. She caught it and clinked her glass with Kaidan's.

"Cheers."

"To you, Shepard."

She inclined her head. "May the best win."

With that, they threw down their shots in one gulp before slamming the empty glasses on the bar. Whatever the bartender had given them was really awful – it tasted like a mixture of limes and cough syrup – and it burned down her throat. But she was relieved that she kept it down without coughing or choking.

Kaidan shook his head to keep the drink down. "Gah. What the hell is that, jetfuel?"

"It sure tastes like it." She grinned. "How about another?"

All in all, she started feeling it four shots in. Her head felt heavy and her thoughts were looser; it would be easier to say something she didn't mean to reveal just yet. Kaidan fared decently at first, but after the fifth she saw him wobble in place, his hand shooting out to catch his balance against the bar. His eyes were a bit glassy but when he caught her looking he grinned sheepishly at her.

"Hanging in there, Alenko?"

"I could do this all night."

"I'll have to keep that in mind."

He was stunned for only a few moments before he recovered. "It's harder to fluster me when I've had a few, you know."

"So you admit that I fluster you in normal circumstances?"

"I'd have thought that was obvious, Commander."

"Kaidan. It's Shepard."

"Right. I'm sorry."

"How about you get us some more alcohol and we'll call it even?"

The music seemed to change as the evening wore on, shifting from the insistent thudding to something slower, deeper, felt rather than heard. She found herself watching him with less of her usual apprehension, and it thrilled her to see that he watched in return. They drew closer after emptying glass after glass until they were so close that she could have pressed her lips to the hollow at his throat if she wanted.

But while she still had some control over herself, Kaidan did not. She had wondered what would finally break through Kaidan's iron grip on his tongue and bearing, and it seemed as if sloshing drunkenness was the winner. She felt a bit guilty at how pleased she was to know that no matter how upright or solid he was, he wasn't a machine. He was human, and beautifully so.

It became quickly apparent that Kaidan was not as proficient at holding his liquor as Shepard. By the seventh (and final) shot, he was wobbling so dangerously that she feared he would topple over into their neighbors, two very annoyed krogan that looked as if they would not take any disturbance lightly. In the interest of keeping the peace, she laid a light hand on Kaidan's shoulder and steered him away from the bar, thrilling a bit at the contact.

"Come on," she cajoled. "You're making people nervous."

"You sure it's not you that's making 'em nervous?" he slurred.

"That's also a possibility." She paused. "Do I make you nervous?"

"Yeah," he admitted without any self-consciousness whatsoever.

"Why?!"

His head lolled. "You know."

"I don't!"

"You're Shepard, that's why."

"That can't be all of it."

He stared at her with wide eyes, looking as if he was trying to piece together a particularly difficult thought. She definitely wasn't imagining the high color in his cheeks, dark in the club lights. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life," he said finally.

It didn't even matter that he slurred when he said it. For a few moments she wondered if she was only hearing what she wanted to hear, and she grappled in vain for a reply. "You think I'm beautiful, huh?"

He wasn't too drunk to feel shame. "I'm sorry, Comm—I mean, I'm sorry, Shepard. Dammit."

"It's fine, Kaidan," she said, covering a pleased smile with her hand. "You're pretty drunk."

"How are you not drunk?"

"I am! Just not as drunk as you," she giggled.

"You knew this would happen."

"I didn't know you couldn't handle your liquor at all. But yeah, I suspected I would win."

"That's cheating."

"It is not! Don't be a poor sport."

He was too drunk even to make a show of grumbling in defeat. "No one's ever called me a poor sport before."

"Probably too nice to say it to your face."

"Probably." His grin was back. "Not like you."

"Hey now! I am very nice. Nicer than you, anyway."

"Nope," he said, popping his lips on the word.

"You better watch it, Mr. Alenko, or I'll leave you to find your own way back."

"Not making a case for the whole nice thing, are you?"

They decided to leave not long after that. The flashing lights and thudding music had stopped feeling seductive and instead became annoying. It was too loud- she couldn't properly hear every unguarded word he said. It was too dark – she couldn't see each uncommonly open expression cross his features. And though the club was a fine excuse for proximity, she saw Kaidan press a hand to his temple. He was drunk, but not too far gone not to get a migraine.

"Come on," she said, standing. "Let's go back."

"You don't want to stay?" He wobbled in place, drooping out of his seat as he struggled to maintain his balance. Even hopelessly drunk, he was too considerate. A wave of tenderness almost overtook her, and she actively suppressed the impulse to touch his cheek.

"It's too damn loud," she said. "Besides, if I don't address your state, you're going to have a hell of a hangover tomorrow."

"Ugh," he groaned. "I forgot about that."

"I know you did. Come on."

He made a valiant attempt to stand, but was defeated quickly and soundly by gravity. He would have toppled to the floor if Shepard hadn't caught him, sliding her arm around his waist and pulling him close. "Careful!"

It was thrilling to feel him press into her side, his solid, reassuring weight. "You saved me," he slurred, grinning.

"Just like normal, then."

"I save you sometimes," he argued as she guided them through the club and into the Wards, staggering a bit under his weight.

"I can't seem to recall anything like that."

"That one time on – on Feros! Remember?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"It does so. You're just playing like you don't remember."

He was right. She was having too much fun teasing him to stop, though. "I would never be so cruel!"

"Cruel's not the right word," he mumbled, craning around to fix her with a surprisingly serious gaze. "Never cruel. Sharp though. Sometimes."

"Really now?"

"When people piss you off. When you're about to lose your temper. When you're in a bad mood," he said, grinning sweetly up at her.

"When have I ever been in a bad mood?"

He snorted, head lolling forward. "Good one."

"You're a real prince when you're drunk."

"You're the one who wanted to go for drinks."

He had her there. "Yeah, well. I've learned my lesson."

"Who's the poor sport now?"

"Listen to you! I suppose it's for the best you're not constantly in a state of drunkenness; you'd reduce the entire crew to tears."

He was abruptly cowed. "I – I'm not . . . I don't mean any harm."

"I know," she grinned, elbowing him in the ribs. "I was teasing."

"Oh! Right."

They attracted quite a few incredulous glances from the strangers milling around the Wards, but for once Kaidan was blissfully unaware. He sagged into her arms like he'd wanted to do so all his life, a contented smile turning his lips. Not even a small stop at a takeout café broke through his pleased reverie, a fact that was not lost on the clerk.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" he asked, eyeing Kaidan apprehensively.

Shepard was not amused. "I've drugged him so I can have my way with him later." She rolled her eyes. "He's drunk, moron. You never see a drunk person before?"

The clerk took Shepard's credits, scowling. "No need to be rude."

"Good advice!" She snatched the bag of burgers out of the clerk's hands and maneuvered the two of them to a small table in a nice, out of the way corner. She practically had to pour Kaidan into the seat, catching him when he started to tip over.

"Save some for me?" she grinned as she set a few cups of water down.

He'd already mowed through one burger and was unwrapping a second, chewing with gusto. "This is the best burger I've ever had in my life."

"That can't be true."

"I swear to god!"

"You're exaggerating."

He took an obscenely huge bite, demolishing half of the burger in one go. "Nope," he said, though it sounded more like "mffgg."

"Oh my god, slow down!" she cried, plucking the other half of the burger out of his negligent hand. "You will puke and that asshole clerk will call C-Sec or something."

He looked so childishly sad that she felt like she'd stolen a favorite toy instead of a mushy, half-eaten hamburger. "I was eating that," he said mournfully, mouth still half-full.

"I'm not falling for that." But she sighed when he ratcheted up the intensity of his forlorn expression. "God. Fine; drink some water and I'll give you the rest of the burger."

He was slightly more sober by the time the burgers were gone. It had been hilarious and amazing to see him with his guard down for once, but she would feel guilty if their night of drinking affected him negatively the next day. She tightened her grip around his waist and tried not to acknowledge how good he felt under her fingers.

His head lolled toward hers as they waited in Normandy's airlock for the decontamination procedure. "You smell nice," he whispered.

"I use the same soap as everyone else," she pointed out, though secretly she was pleased. Her heart leapt when she met his gaze – still a little hazy but sober enough to be serious.

"It smells better on you."

She resisted the urge to touch his face, the stubble on his jawline. "You're still drunk."

"Not so much anymore."

"Uh huh." Without warning, she released him and took a deliberate step away, so that she was just out of his reach. He swayed precariously in place, hands shooting out to catch his balance. She let him teeter and stumble for a bit before pulling him close again. "How'd that work out for you?"

"I guess I should be glad you don't let me hold on to my misconceptions." The last word was brutally slaughtered by his slurring. "Yeah, still pretty drunk."

"Thought so. Come on, Alenko."

The airlock hissed open and the two of them made their way through the CIC. The night crew dutifully averted their eyes, though a few of them stifled giggles behind their hands as Shepard and Kaidan passed. Shepard normally would have barked at them to observe protocol, but even she had to admit they made a pretty ridiculous picture, staggering through the CIC like some kind of shambling conjoined corpse.

It took a concentrated effort to maneuver Kaidan into his bunk and wrangle off his boots, for he was too inebriated to handle them himself. She punched the pillows into a comfortable shape and pulled the covers over him, resisting the urge to tuck them around his chin. It would be too cute, and she wouldn't be able to control herself.

"Sleep it off, all right?"

But before she could leave, he called out. "Shepard?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I say anything wrong or weird or something? I don't know if I did. I can't remember."

She couldn't help but to smile at this ridiculous, charming, sexy man. It was nice to know that even drunk out of his skull, he was still enough of himself to stress over being appropriate and considerate. "You only said the right things," she told him gently.

"Good," he murmured. He tossed and turned for a moment, kicking the covers and sprawling on his stomach, his arms hanging off the bed. She backed out of the room, though even when the door latched shut she couldn't leave yet, instead pressing her hand to the cold metal as if to sense him on the other side. It registered as loss to be separate after so many hours pressed side to side, only a trembling inch or two apart.

* * *

Shepard was surprised to see Kaidan woke up on time the next morning, and she was even more surprised that he looked no worse for wear. He greeted her politely, and she expertly ignored the way his grin made her heart leap. "How's the head, Lieutenant?" she asked him easily.

"Surprisingly good," he replied, rubbing his temple as if searching for the inevitable headache. "I don't remember too much from last night, though, so I'm going to assume you won the bet."

"Yeah, I'd say I did," she said, leaning against the mess counter and crossing her arms. "You now owe me one favor redeemable whenever I choose. No griping, no arguing, no backing out. I've got you for whatever I want."

"God help me."

She wasn't imagining the way he looked; slightly nervous, slightly pleased, and with the shape of want as obvious in his gaze as it was in hers. She'd suspected there was something between them, but before last night it had been a vague, thrilling possibility. She wouldn't say she knew what it was now, but she knew that whatever it was, it was there and it wouldn't be ignored.

"You said it, Lieutenant," she said, flashing him a coy grin. She felt his eyes on her as she walked away, and she wouldn't deny the smug pleasure this knowledge elicited.

Now, what to do with this favor . . .


End file.
